I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
