I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
