someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
