sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
