Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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