It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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