If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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