So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
