no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize
