Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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