I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
