1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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