im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
