it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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