NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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