So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
