i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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