It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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