you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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