you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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