What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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