I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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