What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
