Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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