none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
