Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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