So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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