Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize