I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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