Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
