Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
