I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
