The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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