I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
