Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
