My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
