Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
