DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
