I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
