Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
