Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
honey bunches of taint.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
