It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
