Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
