...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
