have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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