I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Redeem this text for a blowjob
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
