I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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