office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
