it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
