Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize