I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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