I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
