they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
