so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
