I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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