Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
