trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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