I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
