mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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