ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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