Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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