She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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