Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
