I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We smell like vodka and hangover
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
