Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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