omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
