Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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