remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
