I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's like iHOP with fire
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
