So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just puked most of my soul out..
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