Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I color on your dick again?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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